Sports

German Athletes Somehow Managed To Make Beer Not Cool To Drink

Beer (Credit: Shutterstock) Beer (Credit: Shutterstock) Photo of David Hookstead

3:25 PM 02/20/2018

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German athletes are big into non-alcoholic beer during the 2018 Winter Olympics in South Korea, and that’s pretty lame.

The New York Times reported the following:

While most people see nonalcoholic beer as a responsible replacement for regular beer, Germans often drink it in place of sports drinks after exercise. Beer or Gatorade? No contest.

Johannes Scherr, the doctor for the German Olympic ski team, said nearly all of his athletes drink nonalcoholic beer during training. And the brewery Krombacher has supplied 3,500 liters (about 1,000 gallons) of nonalcoholic beer to the athletes’ village so German athletes can enjoy it during competitions at the Pyeongchang Games, where Germany is tied for the most gold medals.

Can you get any lamer than this? Either drink beer with alcohol in it or don’t drink it all. Did you all see the husband of a Canadian curler slamming beers? That’s the type of spirit it takes to being a champion.

Serious question here, what the hell is the point of drinking non-alcoholic beer? You might as well just drink water at that point. Beer is meant to be hammered as you’re having a great time trying to get a buzz on. We’re not drinking beer out here all the time during sporting events because we’re trying to get hydrated “in place of sports drinks after exercise.”

We’re smashing beers because we don’t really have a choice. Champions live a certain lifestyle. It’s something that people who aren’t are champions will forever struggle to understand. Part of being a champion is always knowing how to crack a cold one. Look at winners throughout history. They all know what it means to drink a beer. Peyton Manning even name dropped Budweiser in his postgame Super Bowl interview.

Do you think he was drinking non-alcoholic beer after the game? Of course not. Shout out to Germany for ruining beer’s intertwined culture with sports. I didn’t think it was possible, but here we are.

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